I am talking, of course, about the Giant Meteor of Death.
In an election year in which the two major party candidates are facing questions about their honesty, it is no surprise that Giant Meteor has emerged as a powerful alternative. While this candidate has put forward many ambitious promises, there appears to be little doubt it has what it takes to achieve these results. Giant Meteor has outlined a surefire plan to end both abortion and racism; to put a stop to illegal immigration and terrorism; and to make income inequality a thing of the past. This is a proposal which would cross all party lines and ideological divisions — and one which would surely have a worldwide impact.
Given this challenger’s meteoric rise to relevance, it does not seem fair that the media and political establishment continue to treat its candidacy as some sort of joke to be marginalized or ignored. In the most recent national poll in which it was included, Giant Meteor registered 13 percent support among registered voters — just two points below the threshold required to debate, and six points more than the combined total of other third party hopefuls Gary Johnson and Jill Stein.
Since that poll, however, it does not appear Giant Meteor has been included in any other national surveys. This is utterly inexcusable. Pollsters must begin giving Giant Meteor’s candidacy the attention it deserves by including it in all future polling of the presidential race.
And, furthermore, if Giant Meteor succeeds in breaking the 15 percent mark in the requisite number of polls, there should be no attempt made to deny this groundbreaking candidate’s rightful spot on the national stage (or, at the very least, a representative of the candidate). Giant Meteor’s trailblazing platform warrants a wide hearing and could truly explode the national conversation.
America finally has a presidential candidate capable of annihilating the status quo. It is time to take this earth-shattering candidacy seriously.
Editor’s Note: This column was written firmly tongue-in-cheek, though no offense is meant towards Giant Meteor of Death or its supporters.
Paul Dupont is the managing editor for ThePulse2016.com.