A lot of folks in the Twittersphere are weirdly obsessed with Gary Johnson. I don’t quite understand the appeal. He’s kind of a dork, and he has absolutely no chance at winning the presidency.
In fact, here are six things more likely to happen than a “President Gary Johnson.”
6.) Bernie Sanders Wins the Democratic Nomination
Hahaha, oh, poor Bernie! The fix is in. But don’t give up! You’re still more likely than President Gary Johnson!
5.) Mexico Pays For “The Wall”
Probably not. But still a much better bet than Gary Johnson.
4.) The New York Knicks Win the 2017 NBA Championship
Okay, not going to happen. But still more likely than America feeling the Johnson.
3.) Hollywood Makes Another Terrible, Awful, “Twilight” Sequel
Unlikely, but still a better love story than Gary Johnson and America.
2.) Lindsey Lohan Returns to Make “Mean Girls 3: The Reckoning”
Guys, stop trying to make Gary Johnson happen. He’s not going to happen.
1.) Donald Trump Wins the Presidency
This is definitely happening. Gary Johnson’s live reaction:
Jon Schweppe is the Communications Director for American Principles Project. Follow him on Twitter @JonSchweppe.
